He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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