There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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