We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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