hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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