You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
