He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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