I wanna bring you to show and tell
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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