I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I want a musical about memes.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
