She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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