One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
