There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
