I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
