His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
