I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He did a backflip because drugs
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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