Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize