I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
