i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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