I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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