I think I am morally bankrupt
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
