i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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