i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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