My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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