Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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