Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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