I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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