How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
