period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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