We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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