I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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