Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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