i think i have two assholes
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
