I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
