if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Sorry about my life...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
