Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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