Sry I called you an 8
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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