fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
