Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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