all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
