Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We need to get me chipped asap
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
