Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
