dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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