garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We left the knife in your bed.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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