Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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