im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
