So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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