I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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