I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Your tits are I can't wait for
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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