You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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