you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
