If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
