did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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