margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
