I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
