you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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