Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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