our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
