Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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