I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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