I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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