Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
its not stalking. its research.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
